Susie's Diary

Susie has been diagnosed with FIP (Dry form). This diary notes her progress and shares pics of her :)

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November 3rd -10th
November 15th-23rd
November 24th- 30th
December 1st - 8th
December 9th and 10th and update from August 2003.
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It has been 8 weeks since she started showing clear symptoms. (although nearly 9 weeks since I became concerned).

December 1st

It's about 1pm, and i gave her her first meal of the day about an hour and a half ago. She got through nearly a whole tin of a/d - gradually though, but then I noticed that she was trembling alot. Her head especially. She started purring when I cuddled her so it was hard to tell if she was trembling all over.

She also had the discharge from her eye again. I wiped her eyes but they are already watery again.

We made a fuss of her - stroked her and cuddled her and the shaking seems to have stopped. It was quite scary, but i looked into her eyes and I told her I loved her and I would look after her.

My vet is closed until 2 O'clock, but I think it's a different vet there on a Saturday anyway. I'm gonna call them and ask them if they think I shoukld bring her in. I'll update the diary again later in the day.

10pm - Well the vet said that the shaking was an fip symptom and not a side effect of the drugs, and said that as it had stopped and she seemed OK again, to just watch her and note down anything unusual. There hasn't been another incidence of trembling, which is a relief. She did have another episode of breathing heavily, and I was sure she sounded a bit congested but this went away also. I mentioned this to the vet nurse and she agreed it could be panic. She did it first when I was about to give her a pill, you see.

Well she's eaten nearly two tins of a/d today, washed after eating, and walked into the other room - stopping at a scratching post along the way to sharpen her claws. Also when she relaxed after having her pill, she purred normally - no sound of congestion or anything at all wrong with her breathing. Those are all encouraging signs, but she has this discharge from her eyes quite alot. Betsy goes to the vet Monday for a dental and possibly to have her ears syringed, if Susie's still worrying me i'll take her too - her scheduled appointment is on Friday - but I might actually bring her to the vet Monday evening when I pick Betsy up

December 2nd

Today was a bad day. She as very subdued all day, and had another episode of shaking - this one lasted 30 minutes, but she came and sat on my lap - putting her front paws on my shoulder. I cuddled her for half an hour and eventually the shaking went away. She sounded very congested also, and her eyes were quite watery and had a discharge. She ate in total almost two tins of a/d - but that's the only good news today.

She didn't go to the toilet all day - I tried to pick her and up and put her on the litter tray but she cried out as if in pain. She also hadn't washed all day and I was getting Betsy to sit with us and wash her face. She wasn't too thorough though so I mostly cleaned her up myself, and wiped her eyes. She seemed to have trouble jumping on to the couch also. She got off one couch and walked to the other - her walking was steady, but when she tried to jump up she had difficulties.

I took her into the bedroom with me and she was fine about letting me pick her up this time. She sounded awfully congested and her breathing was rapid and noisy. I have been feeling so sure we can beat this - so determined to beat this, but as I sat on the bed with her, I just couldn't stop crying. I just felt for the first time in weeks that we weren't going to get through this. I know the chances of survival are so slim, but I want to try. I felt so broken hearted seeing her so ill and I fell asleep finally around 1am, with hr at my side, fearing I did not have much time left with her.

I decided to take her to the vet tomorrow. As things have changed and new symptoms have appeared I can't wait until Friday.

She's only 6 - she seemed fine two months ago - why has this happened? This disease is so cruel, I can't bear it. She's been so ill over the weekend - I don't want to lose my baby. Every moment we have together is so special.

December 3rd

I have no idea what's going on! She went to the toilet by herself around 2am, and at 8am, had half a tin of a/d and washed quite thoroughly afterwards. She also seemed quite alert and her breathing sounded clear and steady. I can't understand why she was in such a bad way yesterday and yet seemed alot better today. Looking at her today I wouldn't say she was critically ill, but yesterday I thought we were close to a point where she wouldn't get better. The fact that she sat up, ate her dinner, washed her face so thoroughly and then came on my lap for a cuddle - that's such a miracle! From how she was over the weekend - I'm so thankful for her recovery from last night. She amazes me.

I took Betsy in for her dental and ear cleaning at 9:15 - I was so scared to leave her. I just kept imagining all the worst things that could happen -what if she had an allergic reaction to the anesthetic? I know it's a minor procedure but Betsy has never had anything except ear drops and vaccinations since she's been with me. I hated to leave her. I told the vet about the new symptoms with Susie and made an appointment to bring her in this evening. When I go to pick Betsy up I can take Susie in. I hope Susie isn't lonely while i'm at work today without Betsy there.


Betsy lounging around :)


Susie on December 4th -just had her pills and medicine by syringe so is NOT happy!
(her eye isnt cloudy, it just photographed that way)

December 3rd continued.

Just got back from the vet - Betsy had four teeth out but is happy and healthy :)

Susie has a temperature of 103 and is taking 25mg of Baytril once a day from tomorrow. She is also constipated and so is having liquid paraffin syringed 5ml daily. She obviously wants to go to the toilet as she is going to the litter tray but can't and she can't make herself comfortable because of that.

The vet said that the trembling and eye discharge could be because of the steroids but might also be a sign of upper respiratory infection - possibly meaning the fip has got to the central nervous system but it also might be the steroids, so we don't have cause for immediate alarm.

He also said the breathing isn't a great concern unless it is all the time - as she breathes fine most of the time then it is ok. There is no fluid around her lungs or chest (thank God), which is what I was worried about and so that's one less worry for us.

She's going in in two weeks, or sooner if i'm worried. her weight is now 3.25kg so she has lost a little more, but I think her appetite is getting better so she's starting to get through more a/d than she was before.

I remembered they are both due to be wormed around now - i'll get that sorted when I go in in two weeks.

So - it's good news that her chest is clear, no additional lumps either.

We are reducing the Prednisolone (I must correct my spelling in previous entries it is not Prednisone but the two are apparently interchangeable), to 5 mg per day - so just one pill now. This a reduction for 7.5. After two weeks we aim to reduce to half a pill and then to taper it to every other day.

She's hiding since she got back from the vet but he gave her a thorough check up so I can't blame her!

December 4th

Last night she was finding it painful to move and couldn't get comfortable - her constipation is causing this. She was quite unresponsive to me also, she also wouldn't eat and seemed weak and lethargic. She slept on the end of the bed and I kept glancing at her and listening to her breathing which sounded congested, until I fell asleep.

Then at 7am I woke up to see a purring Susie walking up to me! She laid down next to my shoulder and I gave her a cuddle. She didn't sound congested and looked lively and alert. Betsy jumped on the bed wanting to join in the with the cuddle and Susie hissed at her! This is usual Susie behavior as she wants Mummie all to herself! I was pleased to see Susie alert enough to sit up and do this. I nudged Betsy down the bed a bit but she got off. I gave her a cuddle later!

The ups and downs are quite alarming - when she is having a 'down' I feel very disheartened and then she suddenly changes and seems so much better!

Back from from work - she's had half a tin of a/d which I added water to as she's not drinking much. She's still constipated and sounding congested - i will get some Olbas oil tomorrow - the vet recommended letting the steam reach her nose - it might help the congestion. It's a relief to know that sound doesn't mean there is a chest or lung problem though. Hopefully the antibiotics will take care of it. She hasn't trembled in two days, and her breathing is fairly normal. It was going from around 21 breaths a minute to 85 yesterday in short spaces of time but seems fine today, thankfully.

She's so far been very quiet today, although has got up and walked around. She was looking totally fine this morning - mornings seem to be better for her.

Betsy is doing fine too -never seen a cat recover like that after having four teeth removed!

December 5th

I hated to leave her this morning - she has sounded congested since yesterday. I am going to get some Olbas Oil today and try that later - hopefully it will help her. She sneezed this morning too - if it's a secondary infection then the antibiotic's should start helping soon.

She ate half a tin of a/d this morning - still constipated which can't be nice for her. The vet said it should take 48 hours so all being well, that problem should be eased tonight. She walked around a little this morning - walking was fine, but she had a little trouble with getting up the step into the bedroom. I carried her back into the bedroom (being very careful where I held her) and she seemed to lose her balance a little when I put her on the bed. She's not washing properly and it's hard to keep her clean - she hates it when I clean her up.

Hopefully the reduction in Prednisolone, along with the antibiotics and liquid paraffin will help her regain her strength. All I can think of today is finish the day at work as soon as I can and getting back to her. My boyfriend is going back at lunchtime to check on her and feed her again. I fear it has affected her nervous system, but I have to keep hold of the hope that it is a combination of drug side effects plus secondary infection. I guess i'll know soon enough if the medication isn't helping things as the symptoms will remain. Thankfully her breathing has been steady, so I am certain she is in no pain - just discomfort for having bad constipation and the congestion.
December 6th

The last day has been difficult. She sounds constantly congested - her breathing sounding heavier and like she has a cold. As her chest is clear and it isn't a symptom which corresponds with FIP or the drugs, then it has to be a secondary infection. The vet said to try some Olbas oil - putting her in a cat box and letting the vapour reach her. I thought it would be too stressful for her to be in the cat box though, so we sat her in front of a bowl of boiled water with a drop of the oil in (don't worry my boyfriend had hold of the bowl, and I had a good grip of Susie!). We also used an oil burner and placed it somewhere she couldn't reach (i know cats can reach anywhere but she isn't jumping). Still, I won't use that without someone being there to supervise just in case. I don't know if it's helping yet, but she also had antibiotics so hopefully they will.

She finally went to the toilet around 1am. Mostly diarrhoea but it looked a healthy colour. She seems alot of more comfortable now. She ate almost two tins of a/d. There has been no trembling either. However she is a little unsteady.

She has been walking around alot more, and basic walking is fine, but if she has been laying down for a long time then she can't jump up onto a couch right away as she isn't steady enough. I still Havana seen her drinking but the A/D has alot of moisture. I am mixing a bit of water in with it too (about 5 mls).

She had an episode of breathing fast last night but it went away. On the whole he breathing is at a normal pace - just noisy. I'm grateful that there is no fluid causing this - hopefully the Olbas oil will help.

Last night she looked up at me and her pupils were very big. She had this look in her eyes, I can't really find the words for it - it scared me because Cleo looked at me just like that, the day before she died.

I told her I loved her and would do anything if I could take this disease away - I promised her i'd help her in any way I could, and that she's safe with her mummie.

After she went to the toilet, she washed herself quite well, I didn't even need to help. Some days I think I am losing her, and then she surprises me. She's walking to the litter tray and back by herself, eating her dinner, and half of the time washes herself. Those are all good things. Continuing to do those things for herself shows that she is determined. I feel as though we are losing the fight against this disease but i'm sure that her infection and constipation have made her seem worse than she actually is in the last three days. I think how well she does in the next few days will be crucial - she's having a difficult time with this infection and constipation in top of it all.

December 6th Continued

 These entries are getting longer each time. I guess because there's so much more going on. With additional infections making her feel lousy. I'm not even half way through the day yet! Her next vet appointment is two weeks but if this 'cold' (possibly respiratory infection) doesn't clear up in a week I'll take her sooner. I will give the antibiotics and decongestant time to work. I guess other than that, all I can do is be there for her and do whatever I can to help her.

9.30PM. Tonight i got home from work just before 7 and she couldn't stand up properly. I took her to the emergency vet in Wanstead and was first seen by a nurse who was very nice - very supportive and sympathetic. We waited and saw a vet, and she watched her walk and examined her. She said it looked neurological. Her breathing is even more noisey now. She can barely walk and is not responding to me - she is aware but she doesnt react to me at all. She walked to the living room and just stared at the wall for a while before trying to go in. We had to bring her out of there because the floor is laminate and she couldn't stand on it. As soon as I saw her this evening, unable to stand up with her back legs I knew we hadn't succeed in suppressing the spread of this disease. The Vet gave me some options - put her on a drip and see how she is by tomorrow but that would not be the best thing for her - she doesn't need the stress that would bring her, and the vet agreed and said she's better off with me tonight. We are gonna give it another 24 hours, but if she hasn't improved with the high dose of prednisolone then there's little hope. I don't want her to suffer and if it is effecting her brain she will do. The vet put her on 15mg Prednisolone (injection) and also injected a high dose of vitamins. I'll take her to my own vet tomorrow - there's a small chance she might show improvement but in my heart and my head I know we have lost this battle. It's got worse over the last few days but she is having such difficulty walking now - It's tearing me apart but I keep hoping for a miracle which wont happen. I hate this disease.

Even though she couldn't balance properly she still managed to wash her face this evening - she had to lean alot to do it but she did manage it. She's always been an obsessive washer.

I don't know what else to add - just that i'd do anything, anything if she could be cured. I can't find any words to express how I feel right now.

December 7th

I woke up at 1am and couldn't find her. she'd got off the bed, and i searched the flat with a torch and found her in the bedroom. She stood up and stared at the wall for several seconds and then I picked her up and put her back on the bed. Eventually I fell asleep and was woken by her walking up to me and laying down at my shoulder in bed. She was purring and sounded fine. No congestion, not irregular sounds at all with her breathing. I was amazed. I cuddled her and fell back to sleep. When I woke up I thought had been a dream until my boyfriend said she was sitting next to me. I looked and she was still there. I cuddled her and she purred. :)

All morning she sat on my lap, and I fed her 3/4's of a tin of a/d. She hasn't got up and walked at all so I can't tell if she is steadier but she is certainly alert. Responsive to me, and happier. They weren't hopeful last night that the drugs would help at all but they obviously have! It might be a temporary thing while the increased quantity is in her system but even if that is the case i'm going to treasure every second. It's 3pm now and her breathing has begun to make that congested sound again - just a little but enough to worry me. I'm talking with my vet in an hour or so.

I feel like any time I have with her now is such a precious gift. She hasn't been to the toilet - that will be telling I think - in how well she can walk and balance herself.

I'm glad I gave it another 24 hours - I was so torn last night, but even if this improvement lasts a few hours, or much longer, I am so grateful for it.

It's nearly 10pm now. My vet said we would take it a day at a time but it's best not to bring her in because we didn't want to risk stressing her, as she was doing well. Since then she has deteriorated. I hadn't seen her walk all day but her back legs are worse if anything. She couldn't even go to the toilet and just ended up laying in the tray. As her legs have gotten worse over the last few days and there hasn't been improvement there at all, I think I have to accept that we've lost this battle. I'm hurting so much right now, and I feel really sick. I am scared, so scared because what if I let her go and she would have had another moment like this morning? Where she was even able to wash herself? How long should I wait for each of her good moments?

If I'd let her go last night then she wouldn't have had that moment this morning where for nearly two hours she was doing really well. I'll be taking that chance away from her - it feels wrong. I feel like I'm giving her a death sentence - what right do I have? I don't believe in killing - I'm a vegan and I live by a very strong ethic of not causing pain, not hurting other people or animals. Who gave me the right to make this decision? She could get better - what if she was like this for a long time but had maybe a few days where she was ok - is it wrong to take away the chance?

I can't make sense of anything right now - why a little cat has to endure this horrible disease - what sense is there to that?

If her walking is not better tomorrow I'll have to take her to the vet - I'm not sure if my vet is there on Saturdays I hope it's him as I really want her to be seen by her own Doctor. She looked at me just now - she's still responsive - but she's not eaten as much today -all evening she's only had a few licks of a/d. If she's even walk, I know I can't let her go on like this. What if tomorrow morning she seems fine again? I can't go through with it if she's alert and coming to me for affection. Oh God, I can't even describe how I feel.
Will she forgive me? Am I betraying her? I promised her i'd look after her - what if she thinks i'm giving up by making this decision?

December 8th

This morning she was more alert. Her breathing sounds constantly noisy, but she purrs happily when I stroke he and make fuss. She came and sat on my lap for a cuddle also. She can see fine, and is alert. She trembled a little bit but that soon passed.

She got off the bed by herself (using the makeshift ramp) and managed to go to the litter tray. She was a little unsteady and couldn't cover it over. Then she went out to the bedroom and into the room where the usual litter tray is. She got all four paws inside and I gave her a little boost with her fourth paw. She got in, pooped, and got out by herself. Then she walked into the living room. I helped her with the big step, but in general terms her walking has improved. I was surprised especially as she has been sitting down for nearly 24 hours, but there is definite improvement there. I know the neurological symptoms can be intermittent, but if she managed to walk around by herself and keep balanced then I can't let her go today.

She also ate quite enthusiastically, got through about half a tin of a/d, which I had mixed a little water with.

She is alert and responding to me, and her breathing while noisy (because of the secondary infection), is at a normal pace. I'm sure she is in no pain as her breathing would be faster.

I know the time I have left with her is so little now, but I will fight this until the end. If she loses the strength she seems to have found to walk, then I know it will be downhill from there. But while she can use the litter tray, get to the tray herself, eat and enjoy being spoiled, as she does now, then we will keep going. I'll update again later in the day.

It's nearly 10pm - she had a spell of panting which, although has slowed, Hasn't stopped yet - her tongue is still out. I gave her her pills, and petted her, then left her with Betsy for a little bit. She hasn't got up again since this morning, so I don't know how her legs are. I tried to lift her to put her on the litter tray but she cried out. I guess If she went this morning then she probably doesn't need to go, and expected us to give her pills.

I live here with my boyfriend and his lodger. The lodger agreed not to smoke in the house when me and the cats moved in. Well two months after we moved in he seems to have changed his mind. He has smoked alot tonight in his room - but he opens his door and gets through the whole house! I spent alot of money, that I didn't have on an air purifier yesterday - and that great big expensive thing doesn't take the smell of smoke away, so I assume not the toxins either.

I keep thinking about Susie's respiratory infection -did she get it because of the smoke? She's immune suppressed after all so anything will get to her. If this purifier doesn't work I'll move out. But I will forever question whether the smoke gave her that infection, and if that is the case then I should never have moved in here. I should have known the lodger wouldn't stop smoking indoors. My boyfriend (who owns the flat) has told him not to, but he refuses to stop. If the air purifier doesn't help I have no choice but to move out - I am scared of cancer and secondary smoke scares me. I lost my grandfather to cancer and he lived with me my whole life - he was a father to me. I know cats and dogs are so susceptible to secondary smoke. I just have to protect them. I'm going off on a tangent here, sorry, I'm just annoyed, and disappointed because I wanted this to be my last move. :-(

Since I started typing Susie's breathing has calmed down a bit. I turned the electric blanket off in case it got too warm for her - having lost weight I assume she is more susceptible to extremes of temperature. But it might also be a intermittent pain, which the vet said she might have. This while thing is just so awful - sometimes I just can't believe this is happening.